Bisexual Girls Club

I should have seen this coming…

When a friend told me that she knew someone who wanted to have a sex toys party along with a Candle Light party, my initial instinct was, umm… I don’t think so. There were so many reasons I could think of why it wouldn’t work. The first one was that it would be the wrong crowd for my line of products. I mean, sure candles can be very sexy, but somehow it seemed like that would draw some little old ladies. And of course, you’re asking the potential customers to stretch their budget between TWO stores and it would just be unnecessary competition. Unfortunately, since I had not had a party in a while, I thought A Party was better than None. I didn’t focus on the other red flags.

Basically what I walked into was a recipe for disaster and what I thought were challenges I was supposed to face, where actually just me shooting myself in the foot so that I could prove I could take the pain. My true challenge, which I failed, had been to be strong enough to refuse the party, especially once I found out if was in Long Island.

It took me so long to prepare, I ended up calling in sick for work just to set up. I was told there were going to be 50 people attending. A mix of men and women. Not my normal crowd, but hey, it sounded like a great opportunity. I almost wonder if I was being greedy, but hey, am I supposed to be intimidated by the fact that there were so many people?? I’m sure there have been parties like this or other product demos with that many and more parties and it’s not called being greedy – it’s just called doing business.

Even my friend bailed when she found out it was in Long Island. I should have taken that out! Should’a, would’a, could’a…

Another big red flag was that my aunt was supposed to drive me there and pick me up, or so I thought. As she was helping me get my stuff in the car and make some final preparations (stuffing envelops with new catalogs and order forms – A week before the party I realized I didn’t have enough catalogs and had my aunt bring me some as I would not be able to get new ones in time – it was like something out of newbie central), my aunt said, “I didn’t say I would pick you up,” after I mentioned around what time I would be ready for her to come get me… Now that was a shock to my system. At this point I could have faked an injury – or just man up and say well things fell through and I must unavoidably cancel – I was trying to not be the one who said she’d be there and then flaked out at the last minute. I really hate being that person and I didn’t want to disappoint my friend since she got me the gig. Still, what the hell did I owe anyone? The truth is I could have just eaten crow later about it and then next time not let a friend get me a gig. It would have been preferable to have taken shit from my friend for a little while then what did transpire. Well, instead of being firm and said NO! Stop the clock! This is NOT HAPPENING! and realizing that this was an insane expedition, I swallowed the butterflies in my stomach and pressed onward. Hell, with two perfectly good suitcases on wheels, this should be almost a piece of cake!

There’s a thin balance in saying no between being the stubborn brat who says, “I can’t,” or “I won’t,” and being the decisive adult who says, “I can’t,” or “I won’t. Perhaps sometimes I worry too much about others respecting my decisions. Although I admire flexibility in person, I have a lot of respect for people who stick to their guns without expressing a lot of doubt. Regardless, I made my choices and I have to live with that.

I’m not sure at what point it became a comedy of errors, but it just seemed like one bit of ridiculous nonsense after another once it all started to fall apart. If only I could have watched it all unfold from the distance. In the car I began to practice my demo and it all seemed like it was actually going to work out.

As soon as I got there my aunt seemed a little worried… I don’t know if she had some sixth sense about it or her own prejudices were giving her the jitters, but at that moment I should have practiced a bit of her skepticism. That would be my last chance to get out unscathed. My aunt even offered to stick around. Unfortunately my nerves took everything the wrong way. In my mind I thought I was answering a question of whether I was strong enough to do this on my own… either that or I knew I was too weak to do a winning presentation and didn’t want to flail in front of my dear aunt. Would want her to think she had something to be proud of. What I should have been doing was swallowing my pride and accepted her last offer to help.

As she left, she continued to look back over her shoulder. I thought, “Now is the time. Either sink or swim.” And I felt a kick of, “Damn at least let me do a good enough job. I think I can, I think I can… let’s go woman get to it.” And so I began my night of hell in Long Island.

I was supposed to start at 8pm. The candle person hadn’t even started yet and it was just after 730pm. So I was offered some margaritas (no I did not partake, well perhaps just a sip, but I absolutely did not have more than a sip… that path I knew was wrong – not because I don’t love to drink, but because I wanted my wits about me at all times. At least I did that right). Everyone around me was drinking. They seemed pleasant enough so I grabbed a few crackers and grapes and my margarita and sat down, just trying to start a conversation with anyone really, but mostly looking at my index cards just to make sure when it came to my turn I had everything organized.

It got to be pretty exhausting actually. I probably didn’t even start until about 930 or 10pm! Well, finally it was my turn. At this point everyone was restless and they seemed to think I was there to perform a sex show. Some people were shouting bring out the toys. Tashala, a slightly inebriated, slightly flirtatious, slightly obnoxious woman, approached me. My first mistake during my presentation (even though every instinct told me this woman was probably a real bitch) was to let her hold my feather toy. Naively, I thought it would calm her down and keep her from becoming a troublemaker…

That’s what the lovely waitress called it when she handed us our shots of absinthe. “What is this?” Michael asked. “Liquid Ecstacy,” was the reply as the waitress set the drinks down on the table. Michael was with the wicked sexy Trinidad imp, Jasmine. She was off flirting with someone else at the moment, while Michael and I were contemplating downing the poison. With an open bar available for two hours, we definitely had to pace ourselves. Although Michael seemed to be a little more scared of his drink then I – perhaps I should have been scared…

The night was a blur…

These are the moments I can remember:

Meeting the crew downstairs – Flirting with the ladies at the door is always fun. One reminded me of a shape shifter. Without my glasses on I couldn’t quite tell if she was facing me or not from the distance as I walked away from the door for a smoke break. Her leopard print hair scarf didn’t help the matter. Yes patterns add to the confusion when things are already blurry. So, I told her she looked like a shape shifter and was able to use that line on her all night. It always put a smile on her face. These are some of the silly things that make us happy.

I found the hostess (with the most-est) immediately. Even though I had never met her before I had seen her picture once. It’s nice to feel like you’re meeting an old friend even for a moment when you’re going into a place where you really don’t know anyone. So it helped me get started with my game face. It gave me a little confidence boost so that I could approach other party goers.

Jasmine was the first to introduce herself to me since I was alone. A single bisexual woman – like a unicorn… For a moment I had the pleasure of being one. Not that I want to be single mind you, but every once in a while it’s nice getting the attention that is usually reserved for an unattached female. At least in the beginning, everybody seems to be looking for the single girl.

Just the same, I was ecstatic to greet my husband at the door. The moment he arrived he was like a big trophy placed in my arms. I hope that doesn’t sound too materialistic, but hey I guess I’m proud to be associated with someone like him (if men can have what they call their “Trophy Wife” why can’t I have my moment to enjoy my “Trophy Husband” hmmm? Okay, okay, he’s much more than that! He’s my best friend too. But hey, I can’t help it if I consider myself totally lucky to have found him and am proud to let people know that!). I can have fun on my own, but I can have a lot more fun with him around. And to watch him charm the pants of someone (figuratively and literally too sometimes) is quite sexy.

We met Jasmine’s friends. One lovely lady, Lisa, had a tattoo of a martini on her back. Lex flirtatiously pointed out her tattoo and said, “A woman after my own heart.” He’s quite the charmer I tell you.

I also met a girl from the Bisexual Girl’s Club, but I didn’t initially recognize her. She had been shy at the last meeting and now her hair was was different. Silly me, I did invite the club members to the event! I just didn’t think someone would actually be there. In any case, I was just enjoying meeting more women, as always. Well, the shy one, Nina, remembered me. The vibe wasn’t right for her the other night, but this night was very different. I really had not expected her to be at this little black dress party.

Talked to many lovely ladies and gave them my card. Everyone was so very friendly. Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was specifically the absinthe. I can’t imagine I had any special way about me that night. But I did feel pretty good.

Talked to the woman who looked like the sister of a friend of mine only this one was not so innocent and not so much off limits. Let’s call her Cindy. We eventually started making out… of course, with a bunch of lovely ladies and some good cocktails… what else are you supposed to do? Now I’m just not entirely sure in what order all the kissing started. I think Nina was next. Not because I was looking for a line up lol. But like I said, I just felt pretty good and everyone was very friendly. It just started with one touch and the rest was like butter.

I told Nina I wasn’t sure if I chose the right underwear so I revealed it and she said good choice – but as soon as I brought out my ass everyone wanted to spank it. and of course i enjoyed letting them. I love to have my ass admired!

And I was so happy Nina came to the party because of my invite…. eventually we were sweet talking each other so much we just had to make out.

Now there suddenly was Jasmine, Lisa, Nina, Cindy, and myself all dancing and of course the lovely hostess… We had a nice female dance pile up going. We seemed to all move like one single animal. I don’t know how we stood up flowing into each other’s bodies all awkwardness gone from our minds. Reaching for each other and feeling soft skin everywhere and smooth music that went right through us. It kind of reminded me of my old days in Twilo.

There was something – was it the moon? Or was it the absinthe. One shot really does go a long way. And Nina, Cindy and I had a nice three way kiss going on too at some point.

It was a bit difficult to connect as much with Lex as there were really so many lovely ladies. I think we were just trying to take it all in… or maybe it was – yep – you guessed it – the absinthe (!). But I’m only saying that in retrospect. I really didn’t suspect that concoction at all that night.

At some point I was holding Jasmine up (or trying to – well, it wasn’t my idea! she was begging for it – to be stretched that is – she had some idea in her head about a dance move or something and well she was really pretty insistent – not like I’m going to just refuse to help her out a little) as she stretched backward – not such a good job as I stumbled for the first time of the night in my red heels (a little color to go with my black dress). She said, “I’m glad it was you who fell on me and not the other way around.” Hmmmm… what did that mean? Was she calling me clumsy? I ended up paying for that later. I still have the scars on my knees. Well, they will eventually go away… but next time I will be stronger for the magical feat of that dance move. Maybe I am inspired to get that move right.

It’s not the first time I fell for a lady. Only the last time, the girl fell on me first. We were at a rooftop party and she was trying to make a guy jealous. We were dancing and she kept pushing against me. I told her I was losing my balance but she wouldn’t stop pushing (ever hear of “no means no”). Suddenly I felt us falling and tried to grab Lex or let him or anyone know I needed a hand but to no avail. The only choice I had left was to make sure I didn’t get hurt by falling awkwardly flailing like mad trying to grab on to something around me. You know how that goes. You’ve seen those bad falls in America’s Funniest Videos or else in one of those Crazy moments caught on tape – it’s like a train wreck. You know it can only end badly with broken limbs or worse yet no one really can seem to do anything to stop it. So I picked her up and tried to throw the rest of my weight flat onto the ground. Amazingly it worked. I just ruined my most sexy white jeans, but at least we fell flat and incurred minimal damage. I wish I had been that “smooth” this time around.

Well that was just a little smoke break. As soon as Jasmine got up, I handed her over to Lex and some other guy so she could pull her shenanigans on someone else. And that she did. At that point she was testing to see who could hold her right. Silly girl. Fun and sexy and very friendly, but very silly…

Throughout the night there were lots of smiling, already familiar faces, some more were a blast from the past. Some girls from the club I later learned that I missed making contact with.

I made my way back upstairs and through the crowd. There was one thing I needed to do. Earlier Michael said there was someone with stinky breath walking among us. So in order to help out and not directly unnecessarily point that out to anyone in particular, I made a game of it. I told a group of about 8 people standing in a circle – a mix of guys and girls – that they had to get one spray into their mouth. Hey, I should be getting paid for this commercial. I used my little Listerine spray/pump on everyone in the group including myself so that no one would feel singled out. Hey it was tasty and fun and killed some bad breath. After all the drinking going on, we probably could have all used it anyway. That’s what I carry that for. Just to be safe though, I sprayed the original intended recipient twice, maybe three times! Well, it could also be seen as a challenge… how much breath spray can you take?? Are you man enough – or woman enough?

Eventually the absinthe got the better of me and I stumbled out of the club but not such a bad night all in all. But if it wasn’t for Lex, I might have had to sleep at the club to sober up before getting home! Still, I remember feeling elated and well meeting a whole lot of friendly people. Certainly more friendly women in general. It’s not always easy to find other women who can let loose and not see another woman as competition. We were all more like a partners in crime that night. If it hadn’t been a “school night” I would have gotten my second wind at least I’d like to think so. This was just supposed to be an easy, mellow-like, no-expectations, not-too-crazy night out. And it all really started with a little black dress and some liquid ecstasy.