Bisexual Girls Club

Okay, so I have this idea that every entry has to be completely thought out or else it just totally sucks. But then I take forever to get my thoughts out. So, I’m going try to get this one out easy.

For some reason, after reading my blog or my husband’s blog, some people seem to think that I am probably a size 0 and a blond bombshell. It bothers me because not only is my idea of sexy not in there, but it concerns me that it’s the only definition of sexy that’s really out there. With that image I’m certainly to disappoint anyone I meet.

I am not a size zero and if I were so what? I actually was a size zero once. But I’ve also been in the double digits. I mean, my weight has certainly fluctuated a lot. I’ve struggled with my self image. I’m not trying to impose my ideal onto anyone else. So why is it that people make all these assumptions about who I am and who I’m looking for? Even after I specifically state that being sexy is a state of mind. I’m not going to tell you all my fears just so that you’ll like me. I mean, the only imposition is that I talk about some of my preferences maybe. I don’t even think I paint that great of a picture. I’m not that descriptive about the way people look. So where is this blond bombshell size zero coming from?

I guess I have to ignore other people’s insecurities because I have too many of my own. But when I write a sexy story, when my husband writes a sexy story, I’d like to think we paint more than just images of blond bombshell size 0s all around us.

And if I don’t include you in my club, I’m sorry, but that doesn’t mean it’s because you’re not a size zero. And you don’t need to prove your self worth by offering blow jobs either. I’ve had small girls and big girls flake out on me (oh yes, I’ve been stood up many times – only once by a man, but mostly by women who decide they can’t deal with meeting me or something like that), so it takes more than being the right size to be a part of something. If you’re serious about it you will make the choices that will lead you to make it happen. If you’re not serious, you will make all the excuses in the world and never look at your role in it. I know because I’ve done that. I’ve made excuses thinking everyone else was excluding me and feeling so judged thinking how dare they, but you know it’s usually my own fault I am excluded. It’s usually in the attitude, not the look. Please don’t blame me for your insecurities.

Frankly I’m offended that by the whole thing. Some women don’t like me because either I haven’t met their ideal or I might not meet their ideal or I might meet their ideal but then they can’t relate to me or else they think they might not meet my ideal so how dare do I judge them? We’re all screwed up with this whole image thing… I neither expect people I meet to be size zero blond bombshells nor am I that way, but I try not to fault someone for being that either. I’ve been with women of different sizes, shapes, and colors. It’s more the personality that attracts me to a person or that makes me come back for more. If the chemistry is right…

I do have a preference, but it’s not likely a size zero blond bombshell, though I did meet a beautiful blond once who was sexy inside and out and she knew it and I couldn’t deny it and I couldn’t hate her for it and I wanted to be with her and be in her and be her… but it wasn’t because she was that blond bombshell everyone wants yet is afraid to approach. It was because we hit it off and I was able to approach her and we gave each other a chance and we could admire each other and respect each other that’s all it really took.

Women are angry with each other for no reason. They sometimes say if you’re beautiful then you don’t deserve it. If you’re not, then why should I listen to you? There’s a lot of hatred and jealousy and comparison going on, but why? We all have our moments and we all have our woes. I’ve been healthy and I have been unhealthy. And I’ve recently tried to get back to being healthy. I just want to feel sexy so I’m sorry if I conveyed the message that I am a size 0 blond bombshell and that’s the only kind of woman I want to be near.