Bisexual Girls Club

It’s pretty simple. I would just like to share some things with you as I explore what I hope is the true depth of my sexuality…

My awakening has come about slowly. The fact is, I grew up as a good little catholic school girl and I didn’t realize what I was missing out on in life. Once I discovered that there was so much more to my sexuality, I realized how frustrated I had really been… how much my sexual growth had really been retarded because of my negative attitude towards going after what I wanted in bed. A promiscuous girl is a dirty girl. I always enjoyed sex, but deep down I wanted to enjoy it more and felt like I was bad for wanting more. Don’t they say catholic school girls are the most sexually rebellious? Okay, okay, downright slutty. I’m not sure I’m that slutty, but once I woke up, I definitely had a strong urge to break free from the traditional roles that had been etched so deep into my way of thinking, my way of living my damn life.

There were some agreements that I was keeping because I was taught that was the right way to think and feel. No dis on my upbringing. I didn’t suffer in childhood. I was just missing the elements I needed for my sexual freedom to really be possible. And certainly being bisexual – I do hate labels, but I’ll gladly take that one – well, that was just wrong. Girls don’t like girls… it’s not natural. Granted, that never settled right with me. I always defended people’s right to make their own choices and feel their true feelings without being judged or made to feel like they were worth less. But somehow, I still just considered myself being a woman meant to be with a man and meant to be in a monogamous relationship. Monogamy meant that I was good enough for someone to love me and only me. And then one day I realized that it was a lot more fluid then that. And one day I understood the term polyamory. Not just as a word in the dictionary, but probably deeper inside of me… knocking out from my heart many of the previous agreements I had been told to make in order for the world to keep working the way it was supposed to be working. And then being a bisexual in a non-monogamous marriage made all the sense in the world.

I just think that I have something to say and this is where I hope to find my voice and continue to evolve. This is my bisexual girls club blog. It’s as much about my sexuality as it is about the club.