Bisexual Girls Club

Coming soon…

In the meantime… What is Sexy?

And, no not because of Angela and Angela’s principles, but because Erin’s ultra conservative outfit you know she wants to break out of… hottt!

Luckily I ran from the train station to meet my friend (of course I was running late anyway). It started raining right after I made it inside.

We’re at Stanton Public outside in the back getting wet under the umbrellas. So much for protection. Some white guy douche trying to flirt with us. No free drinks here though. Glad I brought my own stash. Just met the owner. I wonder if he knows I’m not actually drinking water.

Ah an old favorite, but I won’t say the name since it’s not it’s usual best… tonight it’s filled with jocks and bridge and tunnel types who aren’t all that friendly. What a waste of comfy couches and a rough, edgy vibe.

On to some cheesy looking all white restaurant. Just a quick food stop for my friend. Over-priced though. Makes me lose my appetite. I think I’ll stick to my “water” and try to catch a bite at another place soon.

My friend had to take out some money at her old deli place (near where she used to live). Almost bought a banana, but then I realized.. Shit! I left my bag at the cheesy looking white restaurant. Food will have to wait.

Thank goodness, bag was still right where I left it. Couldn’t leave my water behind.

Next stop, awesome wine place. Just what I was looking for. Shrimp apps are delicious. Finally something to soak up all the rum “water” I’ve been drinking. Didn’t realize I had so much. Luckily I brought the smaller bottle.

Now that I have some food in my belly, I can enjoy some wine too. Asian girls who live by are a lot friendlier than most people all night long. It’s only now that is seems like the lower east side I remember.

Hey we might as well stop at Katra.

Or maybe not… some stupid guy smoking my cig, now says he doesn’t even smoke anyway. How annoying is that?

Okay, now this is getting ridiculous. Some guy grabbed me so I grabbed him back, held on really tight, squeezed pretty darn hard, screamed No! at him and stuck my middle finger at him. I wasn’t going to let him get away with it. Too often I just let that shit go and they think they can do whatever the fuck they want. I didn’t let him leave my sight until the bouncers got involved. Man I was pumped. No one was going to mess with me.

Okay, time to leave. Hispanic guy who doesn’t smoke but asked for a cigarette anyway earlier now tried to kiss me goodbye when he saw me heading off. Woah. Fuck off I told him. Grabbed my friend now that she finally got sick of some random guy pressing his penis against her and calling it dancing… Off to the next place.

Random stop number what? Luckily the last place didn’t kill my party mood, or maybe lucky we found this band place. So awesome and spacious I had to do a cartwheel… I happened to be wearing my mini dress and wedge heels. Yeah that seems kind of crazy. I probably wouldn’t have done it with other heels on. Wedge heels are pretty sturdy so it was okay.

Sexy band just cause the leader was all sweaty and fit looking like he was working out with every note he belted out… gets your heart pumping more. That’s the great thing about watching a live band. You can fall in love with life in an instant.

Now where to? 4am and not a clue where to next, but not ready to call it a night. Walking around aimlessly might possibly help.

Oh, what do you know some brits started talking to us and offered to buy us some beers. So we followed them to a bodega and then a nearby park and sat down to enjoy sharing a sick pack while the light of dawn came up. How romantic??

That was a lot of drinking. I had to pee and so did the other brit, but he had a shy bladder. I had to show him how to pee fearlessly against the tree.

Okay, 530, buzz is wearing off. Time to go home. I guess it’s going to be a long way home with all the weekend train problems lately. Maybe I can doze off and eventually I’ll get home.

Wow, now I am awake! I was on the train for who knows how long, dozing off, when I realized I had to pee really bad again. I got up and got out of the train, not knowing or caring where I was, started up the stairs to the outside world, went up to a vestibule without a booth, found no one around, so I just peed right there in the vestibule! Ha ha! Then I went back downstairs to try to get back on the train and realized I was actually at a station with a better transfer direct to my house, got on that train which was right there just waiting for me, lay down and fell asleep till suddenly I was at my home station just like that. Magic happens on a random night out.

Next day my friend got a text from someone she’s not sure who. Probably the guy who was grinding his penis against her. I told her it must be love. Not sure what ever became of that “connection.”

In just 20 minutes I’ll be at The Sea and relaxing with a drink in hand. I’ll have just one drink or two and then head back home. Getting out of the house for a little while is okay for tonight. No need to overdo it.

Damn, it’s been almost an hour and I’m still waiting for this train to leave. That Shuttle detour took even longer than I imagined.

Finally! It took yet another half hour to go just one stop (at this hour I was not going to walk around in my mini dress and heels by myself. I don’t know these streets as well as Manhattan). At least I’m out of the station now anyway. So I’ll just make it in time for one drink at least.

Standing outside – it looks to me more like a Bridge and Tunnel crowd. Not what I expected from Williamsburg, but I came all the way over so I have to at least check it out inside.

Ah, what the heck, I’ll find another place. It’s just a little bit after 130am and the bartender is giving the last call already. That’s a few points off this place. And I heard it was the place to be. I’m so much more used to places like Cafeteria in Manhattan!

Fortunately it sounds like a party, though the place is a bit too large and bright. In any case, maybe this night won’t be a complete loss. It is going to take me a while to get back home, so at least let me get some semblance of a buzz going. Karaoke may not be my favorite thing, but at least it’s something that’s open. I’ll just have one drink and then try the more mellow surf bar up the street.

Wow, STIFF drink. And only $5… me likes, me likes…

Still it’s kinda noisy and people aren’t all that friendly – they all seem to be out on dates. I somehow think Europeans got this socializing thing down better than Americans do. If I’m not on my top game, I’ve noticed that nobody is ever really that open to branching out of their own little world. I’ve always found that attitude to be very different outside of here. I remember when I went to Morocco, all you had to do was bump into someone and they would share their hash. Then you’d instantly have a new friend for that night. Let me check out the surfer bar if I can fare any better there.

***

Okay, that was another dud. Sand on the ground was interesting, but the drinks were at least $2 more than at the Karaoke bar and the company was not exactly pleasant. The place was practically empty and two of the four patrons were actually employees visiting on the night off. Some girl said she wore the wrong shoes and I responded, “When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.” I could have parlayed that (from some spam) into a good flirting technique, but her wimpy looking borefriend whined till she agreed to go back into the deserted bar.

At least the last place had cheap and strong drinks. Taking my own advise, I decided not to lose the lesson and figured it was better to go where I could enjoy a drink and at least that way the night would not be a total loss. As soon as I realized there was a Karaoke bar downstairs I figured I’d give it a shot – at least there was some possibility of meeting people there.

There was way too much sausage and the company wasn’t all that inviting. I mistakenly had such high hopes for Brooklyn, but I suppose this was just not really my type of neighborhood. Well, It was a smidgen better than any other place I’d been to so far, so I was at least going to finish my drink. A cute girl and her date sat next to me. Every time he got up I would chat her up. Hell, guys do that shit to me all the time when I’m on a date. Not that it panned out to say taking her back to my place, but at least it was temporarily entertaining. They had just reunited after some time. They had known each other in high school but never dated. She confided to me that she might sleep with him that night. Unfortunately, the bar had a very straight vibe. It felt a little like midtown Manhattan or even Queens. Note to self: Don’t come back. In the meantime I decided to enjoy a second drink before taking the journey home.

Soon I had a bunch of large unattractive guys make a few attempts at flirting with me till an older guy sat right next to me and just ordered a drink. I would say he was a bit heavier set than I am usually into, but he was cute and he made me laugh for some reason. We somehow got to talking about his gun. He was a cop. He had his gun strapped to his ankle. Wow, I wanted to squeeze that. It is taking entirely too long to fulfill that fantasy of mine. I checked out his badge. I took a phone picture with it. He bought me two or three drinks and a shot. I was VERY happy, despite not having too much conversation and not meeting any hot chicks. He offered to take me home after I told him I’d be fine going back via train-shuttle-train. It seemed like a good idea at the time to accept his help, but I did insist that I just wanted to go straight home.

By his car, I leaped on him and kissed him and it felt good, but I was probably high from the drinks and the thought of shooting his gun (his real gun not his flesh gun). He let me in his car, all the while probably thinking he would be getting sex. Luckily for me, I noticed he wasn’t quite going the right way and he kept talking about his place. I insisted emphatically that I had only agreed to let him take me home. He seemed worried that I didn’t trust him (which I momentarily did not, but trusted my fighting instincts well enough to prepare myself immediately in case this got ugly) and assured me that he would not try anything. He reminded me that he was a cop and he had no bad intentions.

He pulled over (at which point I was ready to run from the car if I had to, but he said he was just going to take a leak. I saw him get out and waited for a little further information before making my next move). He did indeed take a leak on the side of the road. Suddenly I needed fresh air. I opened the car door and threw up all over the ground. Some of it got on the car door. Phil the cop didn’t seem to get too upset. He just asked me if I was okay, drove me home and even kissed me goodbye (yuck-did he forget what just happened? Was he drunk too??)

All I thought later was that I could have really gotten myself into a big mess. Somehow I managed to use some judgment and also got a lot of lucky too. Phil the cop did not harm me, but he could have! I pride myself in being able to get myself home safe, but simply being drunk by yourself and going home with a stranger (who had also been drinking, though he had said he had sobered up, but was I in any state to really know the difference??) can be a recipe for disaster. I am reminded that the buddy system is always best. It probably would be better to just improve on my judgment calls going forward. How many women find themselves not being fully aware of their surroundings after a night of drinking. Not all the people you come across will be as nice as Phil the cop.

Reclaiming his 2003 title, Johnny Depp is once again People’s Sexiest Man Alive. I of course never thought he was anything less. I have loved him since his more innocent days. What a delicious man I wish I could get my hands on… mmmmm….

Lea Michele totally adorable…